Three months ago, I launched my own business – SkyRocket Coaching. When friends and family ask me how things are going, I’ve found myself replying, “It’s been crazy! It’s gone so much better than I expected!” I get a quizzical look, and then the response “Well, you’re good at this. Of course it’s a success!”. And while I agree that I am good at this, I never once thought success would be a guarantee. I am a confident, self-aware chronic optimist, and yet I did not anticipate I would succeed so quickly. I had real fears, real doubts and a pile of anxiety that accompanied me on the journey to launch. What just happened here?

It turns out when setting out to achieve something really big, an equal dose of expecting the worst is as important as wishing your dream to come true. 

Researcher and author Dr. Gabrielle Oettingen has conducted over 20 years of research to understand this phenomenon, studying the science of goal achievement. She has learned that solely focusing on positive fantasies actually results in a diminished energy level, tricking our subconscious to think that we’ve already achieved the goal. This in turn causes our subconscious to send a relaxation response through the whole body, thereby reducing our motivation to take action.

So, what do we do to move our wishes from a fantasy to reality? According to Oettingen,

“The solution isn’t to do away with dreaming and positive thinking. Rather, it’s making the most of our fantasies by brushing them up against the very thing most of us are taught to ignore or diminish: the obstacles that stand in our way.”

Dr. Oettingen suggests it starts with mental contrasting – visualizing a positive outcome, while at the same time visualizing the obstacles that will prevent you from getting there. The optimism activity allows you to explore all possible positive futures, and helps you determine what you really want, eliminating wasted efforts on pursuing erroneous futures. Mental contrasting this with obstacles triggers a subconscious motivation which ultimately leads to more action towards your goal.

Dr. Oettingen and her husband Dr. Peter Gollwitzer (also a psychologist) have gone on to develop a framework they call “WOOP” (“there it is”) to make the steps more concrete:

• Think about your wish.
• Think about the outcome in concrete terms.
• Think about the obstacles preventing you from getting there.
• Come up with a plan to overcome the obstacles.

Without yet knowing about WOOP (“there it is”), I unintentionally and fortunately followed this framework on the path to achieving my dream. That said, WOOP would have helped me get here sooner.

WISH

The wish step encourages you to dream up your biggest wish for the future, and then juxtapose this with a feasible step you can take today towards that dream.

Starting as far back as graduate school, I had a wish to work with individuals and their teams to help them achieve their goals, create an inclusive work environment and accomplish great things. I could visualize it, but it was just a wish. And it lingered like a vague notion for many many years.

OUTCOME

The outcome step asks you to determine the best possible benefit you expect to experience after you achieve your feasible action from above.

15 years after my initial wish I was given the opportunity to do coaching work both with internal colleagues and other organizations. I learned that I really enjoyed this specific sort of work – executive coaching and team facilitation. At this point I gave my wish a name – SkyRocket. Five years ago, I decided to get my coaching certification which introduced me to an entirely new peer group who were immersed in this work every day. I started to experience the outcome more clearly.

I reached out to many practicing coaches, asking them questions to better understand the full potential of this outcome. What are the clients like? How much money do you make? Do you like hustling for business? Do you have time for yourself to do the things you love? The answers provided more clarity – I could envision the flow of the work, clients and time. In my imagination, I saw myself with clients, networking with peers and friends, handing out business cards that said, “Executive Coach” under my name. The benefit of all this effort would be showing up as my best self, deeply enjoying my work and helping other leaders do the same. And somehow – I didn’t yet know how – it would also pay the bills.

OBSTACLES

Ah, and here is the step most of us would prefer to dismiss. This step asks you to consider the biggest internal obstacles you will need to overcome to fulfill your wish. If the initial action you set for yourself was feasible, then theoretically the only remaining obstacles are those you create yourself.

And here’s where it gets good. This is where my previously undiscovered power of expecting the worst kicked in. This dream was huge – I had a boatload of obstacles and doubts in my mind, many of them unknown. I listed every possible obstacle.

• I’ve never been an entrepreneur; how would I know where to even begin?
• Would I enjoy the hustle for clients? Would I even know how to hustle?
• Would I regret walking away from a secure job at the tail end of a global pandemic?
• Did I have enough in savings to carry me over until the business started making money?
• Would we subsist solely on ramen noodles for decades?

PLAN

This final step in WOOP (“there it is”) is the call to action. You must plan how you will handle obstacles you identify. 

With all my obstacles mapped out, I built a plan and planned for the worst.

To shine light on the unknown, I reached out to people and resources in and out of my network. I interviewed over 50 executive coaches, friends who had started their own businesses and others asking for their insight and wisdom. They graciously shared resources, books, contacts and even clients. They shared how much money they make, how they charge and bill clients. They shared the things they really wish they had done when they launched their business. I was humbled and overwhelmed with the willingness of friends and strangers alike to share their own stories, and hard-won wisdom.

My daughter and I built our “Ramen Noodle Plan” for the things we did know – our household expenses. We cut everything down to the bare minimum. We turned off cable, refinanced the mortgage, eliminated all unnecessary expenses, ate in (we raised homemade Ramen Noodles to a fine art) and watched for sales. And while this may seem like overkill, it turned out to be incredibly motivating as it provided six months’ worth of savings and it was an actionable step toward my wish. It was starting to feel like it would really come true.

I asked my business savvy friends to scrutinize my final business plan. They were fabulous and ruthless and posed excellent questions. The best of which: “What are the criteria for you to feel like you can ‘go live’ with your business?” Just a simple ask to identify MY criteria for pushing the start button. I got centered and clear and created a concrete list of 3 criteria I needed to put in place to go live. Once those three things were achieved, I would be confident this was a go. I would be ready to give notice in my current job, which was the final and most heart-stopping step in the plan.

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN

None of this happened overnight. The entirety of my WOOP was over 25 years. And had I known about WOOP at the outset, this timeline would have certainly been condensed. Which, just like the kind people who imparted their wisdom unto me, is why I share this with you now.

When my Wish evolved into a clear Outcome, I was compelled to chip away at it every free moment I had. Tediously identifying the Obstacles brought them out of the dark and made them less scary. The solid Plan made it achievable and real, and in the end, led to a very successful launch. I have exceeded my expectations for the first three months of my business. On every measure. And I am delighted with the results. The value of all this hard work is not lost on me. I’ll be keeping WOOP in my toolkit moving forward.

And now here’s your challenge… Start the WOOP process for yourself. For something big or small. Something that’s been calling to you for years or just started whispering in your ear. And get started today. As Maya Angelou said, “Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst, and unsurprised by anything in between.”